Even when you are Weak you are Strong(God have a plan)

      I grew up with my grandmother at a very young age and was taken from my mother at a young age. During that transition I didn't know much that was going on but I knew I didn't see my mother like I should and that basically my grandmother was my mother now because, she was feeding me, dressing me, doing all the things a mother should be doing for her daughter. So, basically  I was missing my mother love that had to be replace with my grandmother love. I know my mom love me but at the time it was just how my story had to play out in my life, God had a plan for me.  I tend to think I'm a daddy's girl although I didn't grow up with my dad as a daughter should had but we always seem to of had this bond between us. Growing up I started to  like the same sex having to deal with its not right , its a faze in your, you going to hell, and being confuse in life. I left home at an early age to be out on  my own working since I was in eleven grade.  Seem like I grew up to fast and was ready to be on my own not knowing you go through hard times bills, food, transportation, and people. My grandmother taught me a lot but some things wasn't taught to me. So, a lot of things was learn from people I met alone the way some was good and some was bad teaching or advise. God have a plan for me ... When my grandmother passed away I was their with her everyday at the hospital watching her decline, this was the closet I ever saw death with someone that was dear to me. I really couldn't break down until I was by myself because I didn't want to be weak and I wanted to be there for my dad because it was really hard of him as much as it was on me. God have a plan for me... When I finally had enough of the same sex lifestyle and wanted out, wanted to move, and start a fresh life for myself. The transition was rough I was temporarily staying with my  brother and his family because I was trying to relocate to charlotte. I had just quit my job in Greenville, moved out of my apartment, had a car payment, and  had loans to pay. God have a plan... I had got a job in charlotte it was temporarily that I thought would had turn into full time but it was a start. So, I was trying to save money and look for an apartment something that I could afford. This was a very rough time transitioning... The job I had they decided to let me go so I was face with just moving back to Greenville. God have a plan.. The job I was at was two companies in one so the other side had picked me up ask what I thought about driving for them, and I said okay. So, I start working with them, I found an apartment, things was going good, and  I was enjoying myself and my dog lol. God have a plan.. I met my first guy in charlotte thank you lord he was a good guy, nice looking, he didn't rush things, and  just a real gentlemen. This guy and I started hanging out he would take me out to dinner, movie, and just get me out the house type deal. I will always remember our late night texts all night long like we was in high school are something. lol!!! But we would text and it was on my heart to tell him about my past far as me liking the same sex and etc. To his response he said he cant judge me for my past. I don't know this guy really had my heart feeling some type of way. As, time went on this guy and I became boyfriend and girlfriend then eventually he ask me to be his wife. God have a plan... Now, my finance to be bought us a house got it built from the ground up, and so we started to live together and planning our wedding. It was six months until our wedding day I found out I was pregnant WOW!!! In a million years I would had never thought about none of this and now I'm pregnant. We both was shock and didn't know what to expect but I did the things I had to do like prenatal and etc.. But that experience came and went by so fast we had found out that the pregnancy was in my tubes and I had to have surgery to remove and end the pregnancy. God have a plan....After that we went on with our lives and got married. So, we are newbies now my husband and I we are alike but different at the same time, both independent, work hard, and handle business. As we continued our lives as husband and wife  before we knew it, it was almost our  one year anniversary and to our surprise at  the beginning of the year we  found out I was pregnant again. Nervous.....This time we found out it was twins and they was in the correct place this time . Yessss....So as time went by I got up to my ten week appointment to our downfall the babies didn't have a heartbeat and I had to have surgery to remove the babies and again end the pregnancy . At this point not  knowing how to feel or what to do my husband and I took this very hard because we  do want our  own family, because family is not close like it should be anymore, and just having that special bond with your own family would be priceless.  God have a plan... At the same time my little brother is going through with his girlfriend which is pregnant and is far along and his due anytime now and yes it was tough going to baby showers, gender reveals, and etc and knowing you didn't make it that far or this is what you just had to get over. I love my brother and I am happy for him and know he will be a great father. I also have another brother that have three girls and he is an excellent father and I am proud of both my brothers because we all have come along way. But  this time around I was about ready to give up, quit my job, I really just didn't understand why but I know God is good and I know that my situation could had been so much worst than what it actually was and that statement along what really got me through  . I mean it still hurt and I will always remember but Even when you are Weak you are Strong (God have a plan for me and also for you)..To be continued ....